How many times have you said to yourself, why can’t I find that special someone to share my love? How many times have you asked, why can’t I find someone to love me and that I can love?
We could start this whole conversation with FIRST DATES. Even before you go on a date you should be discerning exactly what you are seeking in your next partner. You should be looking and sharing and talking and asking all things.
People ask me, well when would be a good time to ask.. and then they tell me what they want to ask. I say, when you think of it! Communicate! If they don’t or if they take offense, or if they think it’s too soon, then ask why? Why is it too soon. If I am dating with the purpose of finding a mate, then I want to know all of the answers as soon as I can. I want to know if I am wasting my time or if there is a potential for this person.
Know that if you start a relationship with an email or phone call that it has begun. If you want or desire someone to connect with you then start by sharing with them exactly what you are looking for. If you would like them to connect frquently then share that. Talk about what frequently is to you, what it is to them and how you want to handle this connection. After a few emails, phone calls and you are feeling good about how you both interact that is the time to share what the next step might be.
A casual conversation will help them connect the y you and they want to. A casual conversation will help you instruct or inform them of what you are looking for and expect.
But know that telling them or disciplining them will only chase them away. Ladies! If you want a guy to do something for you, to do something better or to learn how to do something then you have to instruct them in what you are after. This is true for men to only most men should be asking. Women love to be asked or invited as to their do’s an don’ts.
When you go out on that first date and it seems to go well, LISTEN for the keys as to whether he will ask you out again. Don’t push, don’t chase.If he is interested he will call you within 48 hours. If he is not interested he either won’t call or will wait until next week to connect with you. If what you like is frequent contact and you talked about that in the beginning then run away! He will not be the man for you.
And if you repeatedly ask someoe to connect, text, email, phone and they don’t there are bigger problems you will be facing from that person. They either aren’t interested or have huge image problems, psych problem, a history of relationship problems and failures that come about because they are to afraid to reach out and go after what they want.
The next time you start a relationship, first date, first connection make sure you COMMUNICATE what you want and are looking for and you will nothave to guess if they are the right one for you.
Your relationship guru.